Hardship Makes Us Kind, but I Don't Want Anyone to Suffer

Sometimes a regular guest says to me, "Maybe it is time to train a young therapist?" Every time, I think: maybe I cannot do that.

The reason is simple, I feel. I don't want to be hard on young people. This work seems to need many years of small daily practice.

There is a Japanese word that went into English without translation: "karoshi" — death from overwork. I think no other language had a word for this idea, so English just took the Japanese sound.

I am not proud of it. It comes from a strong group pressure, I feel, and it hurt many people.

Still, hardship and kindness seem to be connected somehow.

Northeastern University published a study in 2016. It says that people who had more severe hard experiences in the past felt other people's pain more easily, and helped them more often. What seemed to matter was how severe the experience was.

So maybe the old Japanese saying is true: when you are young, buy your hardship, even if you have to pay for it.

But when it becomes personal, I cannot do it. For the people I like, I never want hardship. I only want them to be happy. And still, I feel that without hardship we cannot become kind.

AI will do almost everything for us soon, I think, and people will move to the easier side. Maybe nobody can stop it. So maybe we should look for a happiness that fits this new time. I am half giving up here.

So, no. I will not train anyone. In 2026, I cannot say "OK, 300 push-ups."