Do Relationships “Exist,” or Do They Just “Appear”?

From late October to early November, I somehow saw many people I had not seen for a long time, and many new people too. People said it was because of Mercury retrograde or Venus retrograde. Maybe there is something to that.

Even people who come regularly stop coming when life changes. They move, get married, change jobs, get sick. For a few years, they may even forget about me and this spa.

There is a Japanese word, “engi.” I think it comes from Buddhism? It means something like this: everything appears when the conditions come together, and goes away when they change. Probably.

So a relationship is not a solid thing. The conditions just came together, and we happen to be in the same room. Something like that, maybe.

That is why I try not to decide things like “It’s over with that person.” At least, I try not to be the one who decides.

If you see a relationship as a solid thing, it hurts when it is “gone.” Maybe we feel lonely partly because we think, “The relationship I used to have is gone.” If we think of relationships as things that come and go anyway, I imagine life would feel much lighter.

And when I don’t decide, I can meet people again even after many years, in a different kind of relationship. Often, I can also make up for things I regret.

Someone came back after three years. I said, “You haven’t changed at all!” The answer was, “I’ve gained 5 kilos in three years!” Well, it goes like that, and three years apart is gone in no time, haha.

In the Japanese tea ceremony, there is a phrase, “ichi-go ichi-e.” It means, “However many times you meet the same person, this time today will never come again.” Relationships come and go, so let’s at least take care of these few hours today. Maybe that is what it’s saying.